this is the first weekend in a while that I haven’t seen M cuz her brother was in town visiting and he’s nohomo so I wasn’t allowed to see her and it got me thinking about family and queerness and how every time I visit my parents I get really depressed and anxious; how every time I get a phone call from my mom or dad I have a moment of panic before I pick up thinking that they’re calling to disown me. The last time I was in SoCal, M and I had lunch with my tia in Irvine and afterwards my titi says, “your friend is so sweet” and I wanted to say something but the words were caught in my throat. I think it’s much different negotiating this as a POC—family is so central in Latin@ cultures, and I get queers that say the queer idea of “family” is much more radical and necessary than “the family unit,” but I think for Latin@s, and I suspect for many POC, family is also this radical form of resistance or coping and I’ve come to appreciate and love my blood relatives so much, the fear of losing that is constant and the source of so much anxiety in my life. The politics of the closet and of family are so much more complicated than “the family unit is a capitalist mode of domination” or “if your family disowns you than they’re homophobes and aren’t your ‘real family.’”

@1 year ago with 16 notes
#queer #family 
  1. rhizombie posted this